


Afraid of the Dark

by ancslove



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Gen, Introspection, On the Run, temporary removal of special powers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-05
Updated: 2017-10-05
Packaged: 2019-01-07 11:22:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12231807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ancslove/pseuds/ancslove
Summary: On the run from both the Empire and his own inner demons, Luke Skywalker struggles with the aftermath of Bespin.





	Afraid of the Dark

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Independence1776](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Independence1776/gifts).



Luke Skywalker shivered and cursed the hunk of metal and wires, formerly known as a B-Wing, for the tenth time that hour. The damn ship lacked the necessary speed and agility for dogfighting with TIE fighters. Crashing on a dusty, rain-soaked moon really wasn’t his fault. Still, after losing his X-Wing on Bespin, he couldn’t afford to be picky. Bespin. Luke shook his head to rid himself of that train of thought. With a wing of TIEs circling the moon and an Interdictor cruiser parked above, now was not the time for wandering thoughts. And with Vader prowling the region – no. Luke turned back determinedly to inspect the damage to his ship.

Beside him, Chewbacca growled softly, as annoyed by their present circumstances as Luke was. Luke reached up to scratch the Wookiee’s shoulder.

“Sorry, Chewie. We’ll be back in the air in no time. We’ll find Han.”

Chewie woofed mournfully, a wordless expression of sorrow and pain. Luke sighed. There was a time, less than a year ago, when he would have protested. When keeping the peace and buoying his friends’ spirits was second-nature to him, as easy as breathing or flying. Now, he couldn’t bring himself to lighten the mood. That’s why he had volunteered to scout their newest lead on Slave I with Chewie, leaving Lando to stay behind with Leia and acclimate to the Rebel Alliance. Ostensibly, the mission was his last form of physical therapy, testing his new prosthetic hand under real conditions rather than simulator, and his opportunity to show Alliance High Command that he was back in the game. Realistically, he couldn’t bear to feel Leia’s grief and fury, as she threw herself into work, and wonder if some part of her wished that he had succumbed to Vader’s trap rather than Han.

The thought was vastly unfair to Leia, who had never done anything to make him feel second-place, but the worry grew each time Chewie and Lando returned without news. And anyway, Han’s fate was his fault. He should be active in making it right. Maybe once Han was back, Luke would feel more like himself. Maybe having his chosen family whole again would offset the revelation of his birth family. Maybe he could return to the innocence of being Luke Skywalker, farmboy and rebel and erstwhile Jedi. Maybe he could forget fathers and lies and offers to rule the galaxy.

Wouldn’t Han laugh at that last? Or would he recoil in disgust and hatred? Would Leia?

 

A huge, soft paw covered his arm, shaking Luke from his thoughts. Chewie gave an inquisitive bark.

[What’s wrong, cub?]

“Sorry, Chewie, I’m fine. Just worried about Han and Leia.”

The Wookiee snorted, unimpressed by Luke’s attempt at obfuscation.  

“Really, it’s nothing serious.” Luke consciously relaxed his fist. He was (almost) a Jedi now, he needed to beware of his emotions. He relaxed into the Force, seeking the peace and serenity that Yoda had taught him. A shadow stole across Luke’s mind, making his skin prickle. Drawing back, Luke quickly shut down his Force sense. Vader was near. Drawing closer and looking for him.  Ever since Bespin, Luke kept hearing Vader’s voice. He could feel it in his mind, a phantom touch at once intrusive and terrifying and, worst of all, fatherly. He’d searched his feelings, as Yoda and Ben and Vader himself instructed, and he knew it to be true. That was the one constant of his life now, it seemed. But the path he should take was far less clear.

_Luke Skywalker. Rogue Leader. Last Jedi. Hero of Yavin. Son of Darth Vader._

It made him shiver.

 

[Still with me, young one?] Chewie yowled, and Luke turned back to him.

“Vader’s nearby. I can feel it. We’ll need to lie low for a bit, fix the B-Wing, and plan our escape. I can’t use the Force with him so near, he’ll feel it. He’ll know where I am.”

Chewie patted his arm comfortingly.

“Thanks. But I don’t want you facing Vader because of me. Han would never forgive me if I got you killed.”

[I would face Vader gladly if it would protect you and Han. And if it did end in my death, Han would know that was my choice, and Vader’s responsibility. Not yours.] Chewie harrumphed his disagreement, and Luke smiled at the offer of protection.

“Han says you’ve lived a long time. You didn’t get this far by tangling too much with Force users.”

The whuffle Chewie made was clearly suppressed laughter.

[I’ve known more Force users than you have, cub. We were allies of the Jedi, before the Dark Times.]

“You knew the Jedi?” Luke wasn’t sure why he was so surprised. Perhaps because Han was so vocally dismissive of the entire notion, although that was at least partly designed to rile Luke.

[I knew several Masters. I recognized Obi-Wan Kenobi in Mos Eisley. They were wise and powerful, and yet in the end, they could not foresee their own destruction. Learn from their example, young one.]

Well, that was why Luke had sought out Dagobah and a Jedi Master to teach him. Did Chewie judge him against the Masters he’d known? Did he find him weak or lacking, or tainted? Suddenly, Luke shivered in self-conscious fear. Did Chewie know Anakin Skywalker? And did he know what Anakin became? Luke wished he could reach into the Force to find his answers, but Vader still lurked. The danger Vader posed was more important than Luke’s own need for peace.

Turning back to his downed fighter, Luke continued to tinker with wires and welding. Anything to avoid looking at his companion, or thinking about Force and fathers and dark legacy. Chewie’s massive paw pet his shoulder.

 

[And how is Master Yoda? Still whacking unsuspecting beings with his stick?]

The casual question caught Luke off guard, and he almost sliced his new hand in his surprise. Yoda would laugh and chide him for his daydreaming.

“You knew Master Yoda? You know that I’ve been with him?”

Luke hadn’t divulged Yoda’s name or location to anyone, though High Command had pressed.

[I recognized his scent after we left the city in the sky. And it fit with your report. I was part of the squad of Wookiees who helped Yoda escape Order 66.]

“What was he like?”

[Older than me! Deeply saddened in those last evil days. People said that Jedi did not know fear or pain or grief. If so, I believe Yoda and the surviving Jedi learned those truths as the Darkness fell.]

“Yoda told me to let go of those emotions. He said I should let go of you and Leia and Han, that the way to honor you was to leave you to Vader.”

Chewie _humphed_. [Perhaps he hasn’t learned so much. Do you believe he was right?]

 

Luke bit his lip and looked away. That question had rung in his mind since the moment he’d hung from the bottom of Cloud City, Vader’s proclamation overwhelming his every sense.

“I don’t know. I wasn’t ready to face Vader. He and Ben were right about that. But there’s so much that neither of them told me, and even more that they told me falsely. I don’t know what to think.”

Chewie’s touch on his face was gentle, yet firm, guiding Luke’s gaze back up.

[You don’t need to know every answer yet. The Force will reveal itself when you are ready.]

What if Luke was never ready?   Or maybe, the Force wasn’t what he needed now. Here and now, huddled under a rocky alcove as they hid from Imperial scouts and Dark Lords of the Sith, the Force was more danger than help. But if Chewbacca knew the Jedi Order of old, maybe his answers would be more meaningful in a practical way. And there was another question, nagging at the back of Luke’s mind, lodged there ever since Vader had made his shocking, devastating offer.

“Did you ever hear of Jedi who fell? Before the Empire, I mean. What happened to them?”

[Pass me that wrench, cub. The Jedi did not divulge much information to outsiders. Officially, Jedi who “fell” were no longer Jedi. The Order was barred to them. I heard rumours that some left the Order, after disagreements with Jedi life. Some successful smugglers are rumoured to be Force sensitive, although I believe most of that is self-promotion. Han never believed it. And my clan used to tell stories of Jedi who went Dark, and were defeated and neutralized. The official line is that there is no way back, after falling to what the Jedi termed the Dark Side.]

 

They worked side by side in silence, piecing the damaged ship back together, as Luke turned Chewbacca’s words over in his mind. Chewie’s explanation was in line with Yoda’s words of warning, but something just felt… off. Shut off from the Force, he couldn’t verify his feeling, but he couldn’t ignore the sense of wrongness.

Vader could have killed him, when he’d refused. Luke had rejected his claims of fatherhood, and still Vader had offered to share power, as father and son. Vader wanted to bring peace to the galaxy, with Luke at his side, and although their definitions of peace differed so widely as to be laughable, he had seemed sincere. If he hadn’t radiated sincerity and yearning and some strange sense of care, Luke wouldn’t be so lost right now.

No one returned from the Dark Side. Yoda had decreed it, Ben had bowed to that universal fact, maybe even Vader himself believed it. But surely that didn’t mean such a feat was impossible. The Light could drive back the Dark in even the grimmest setting.

[Pay attention, little Jedi, and flip that lever.]

Brought back to the present, Luke obeyed. The fighter flared to life, its lights illuminating the small cave. Chewie gave a quiet howl of victory.

[Not a perfect fix, but we should be able to get to hyperspace. Think you can get us past the system guards, without trying to snapturn this hunk like an X-Wing?]

Watching the lights flicker and dance with the shadows, Luke nodded. The shadows may always be present, but the light would prevail.    


End file.
